It's All About Hormones and Life is Not Freakin' Fair!

Several years ago, I was considering doing botox, and then a facelift. And then possibly, whatever occurred to me next. Two things stopped me.

First, I am a bloody huge chicken. I don't want to be cut up! I like being able to frown, and I like being able to move my lips normally. I don't want to look like a caricature of  myself  when I was younger. But, even more importantly, I decided that it was not only futile to attempt to hold back the effects of aging through artificial means, I decided that it's simply a silly, costly, stressful, and useless thing to do.

After all, everyone knows that even if you look thirty, yet are 50, everyone knows you are fifty, and thus there is no point.

But is that really why?

Nope, it isn't. As I learned when I had a life-altering epiphany recently, one which has been brewing in my mind for some time now, but which I didn't fully understand.

Aging for women has as much to do with a loss of estrogen as it does with the outward appearance of it all. Remember this. It will save you grief when as you get older, you wonder why you feel freakin' thirty still, and you know you look around that age, but you feel damn near INVISIBLE!

This is the big reason why a man can still be considered sexy, handsome, attractive when he has wrinkles and is 50 years old, and why woman are not considered those things. Once we lose our fertility, it is all f*cking over. Done. Finished. And it is so not f*cking fair. 

It's all about the estrogen, baby. Yes it is. And this means that those of us who have moved on from the part of our life which was about fertility, are completely unnecessary, invisible, and damn it, only on the fringes of the male-female mating circus.

Men are attracted to younger, fertile women. This is biology, and evolution, to an extent. They can't help themselves, and even if they are old codgers who can only perform with the help of Viagra, they still get aroused when they see a young, fertile woman walk by. Now let a woman of say, 45 or 50 stroll past, it does not matter if she looks as good as Christie Brinkley or Madonna, or Nicolette Sheridan, and far, far better than the younger, fertile woman he got it up for last night, she is bloody invisible. Really. I know.

And that brings me to another point. It is much more difficult for beautiful women to grow old, than it is for the average woman. I think it must be that karma thing.

You receive the gift of beauty when you are young, and you revel in it, enjoy it, and suddenly, unless you take artificial measures to keep it, it begins to evaporate before your freakin' eyes. And even if it doesn't, your loss of  fertility will render you less attractive and invisible to men your own age, and those slightly younger. And then what are you supposed to do? Just lay down and die? Karma really does bite, and this is a perfect example.

The only good thing about being older, and assuming that you don't smoke and have taken care of yourself, is that much younger men may see you as very attractive. Which is odd, isn't it? Maybe it's because they are still young and virile and thus have no need to find a woman whose hormones, rather than her appearance and attitude, makes them feel young and virile? Whatever. I am learning to love much younger men. Even if they don't remember the US invasion of the Beatles.

In any case, it's all very weird, and evolution has some damn catching up to do to keep up with the times. Woman should still be fertile in their forties,  at least until fifty, and as our life-span increases, the years during which we are fertile should also increase exponentially.

Don't you think?

Meanwhile, I plan to take a page from the men's book. Younger men are my new passion. Much younger.

ps..............Madonna is 50, Brinkley is 54, and Sheridan is 45.

      
Madonna                                                                 Nicolette Sheridan                     

   
Christie Brinkley

Technorati Tags: women, aging, youth, beauty can be a disadvantage, Beauty, hormones, botox, facelifts, artificial beauty, plastic surgery, younger men and older women, men and younger women, fertility, attractiveness, biology, evolution

Comments

[Dan Brantley]

Tallulah Bankhead, when her husband announced he was leaving her for a twenty year old, is reputed to have said, "Go right ahead, and I'll go out and find a twenty year old man of my own, and just remember 20 goes into 60 more than 60 goes into 20."

[Margaret]

Gosh! Sounds like some dude has really done a number on you! I'm so so sorry! At 57, I don't feel at all invisible -- well, except when it comes to finding a job :\

[Mamaflo]

I love every moment of being in my 50's and I have no want to return to my younger days.

[Joel]

I love your post. You might find it weird but men are more vain than you would imagine. As for me, what really attracts me is what's in a woman's heart and what's between her ears.

At the end of the day, I would always prefer a woman of substance.

[Connect with your Teens]

I know exactly what you mean. But for me I find that I hate telling people I'm 50 because it will automatically age me. I still, luckily or not, look very young for my age, so I don't like to bring up age with new people younger than me because I feel it will change completely what they think of me.

The other thing about losing estrogen, though, is the memory loss. In most ways I still feel very young, and if you know my blog, you see I keep up with all young trends. But, its so much easier when I'm with friends my own age because they understand when I forget simple words since it is happening to them also.

[RE Ausetkmt]

Age is nothing but a number.
You look as old as you feel, if you take the time to make it happen.

I went into perimenapause at 30 due to surgical removal of my uterus. your ovaries still function welllllllll into your 70's if you keep the fire burning.

I get hit on by men 20+ years older than myself all the time. most of the men my age look at me and think, but know they're too old for me. LOL

I like to break my toys in, rather than break them peroid.

ya know what I'm sayin girllllll,,

[waterrose]

You made me laugh, think and groan.... I'll think about it more tomorrow...

[Jodapoet]

I'll be 53 soon and I am pretty happy with my life however a nice 25 year old would make me much happier :)

[A.]

I'm another one who hates telling people my age, not because it worries me in itself, but because of the immediate judgements made.

I've been in IT all my working life, and successfully, but tell anyone how old you are and they start explaining things as if you're a not-very-bright child. It seems to be assumed that your intelligence disappears at the same rate as your fertility. I did fight back, and even had one consultant (the same age as my son) admit that he'd been ageist before he'd met me. At least he was prepared to admit that and move on, there are so many who don't.

Of course the other judgement made is that you can't possibly have any sexuality, and even at times it seems people think you can never have had any. It is quite amazing the attitudes there are to older women, and how they can change in an instant.

[Carl]

I must be different. I'm one of those guys who finds an older yet attractive woman damn sexy! Sure the younger 20 something women have youth on their side and you can tell as soon as they open their mouths. The great thing about a woman in her 40s or 50s is that she's been there, done that, andmost of the time they know what they want and aren't afraid to say so. Makes it really easy for a guy, we know where we stand up front.

PS. I'm late 30s myself but if I was single again I doubt I'd be dating a younger woman again.

[nicole]

@ Dan....love it -- thanks for telling me that! :)

@ Margaret.......not sure why that would occur to you. Actually, I have never even been rejected, persay.

On the other hand, I know that you are married, and that's very different from being single as I am, so your experience is bound to be different as well. ;)

@ Flo..... I don't really care to be young again either, truthfully. However, I do believe that women have a more difficult time if they are single as they get older.

[nicole]

@ Joel........thanks for telling me that, Joel! And no, actually I don't think it's weird. :)

@ Connect/Jen.........I hear ya! I hate it too, because it tends to make people think of you in a certain way, frequently according to stereotypes. My son's friends all know because he makes sure to tell them that they are too young for me. Weird kid, lol. ;)
Ditto on the memory problems. My short term is okay, but long-term memory is really starting to suck! :(

[nicole]

@ RE....... I hear ya, girl! The fire is still burnin', but I think I need to look at much younger men. How much younger, you ask? Oh, between 22-35 or 40 sounds right. ;)

@waterrose.....LOL! :)

@ Joda..........a nice 25 year old indeed! :)

[nicole]

@ A........you are so right on, girl! But, some of us, like you and I, refuse to go down without a fight.Personally, I will retain my right to a robust sex life, and the desire to remain attractive and vital. :)

@ Carl..........bless you! Your lady is a lucky woman. :)

[Heather]

Wow...glad I read this post...got me thinking.

I do think we sometimes look in the mirror and see things most other people either don't see or don't care if they do see!!!!! We make more out of issues than others might, simply because they are our issues. Of course I'm talking about the wrinkles etc... I don't like mine but short of plastic surgery there isn't much I can do so I do the best I can to take care of myself...I'm 54 years old, can't change it so might as well enjoy it!!!!!

Cheers

[nicole]

Too true, Heather. But, I gotta say that being over 50 makes me almost wish I were married again. Even though I wanted the split. :)