What did you think I meant?

I haven't come out and said this publicly lately, although I did allude to it in a previous post, Ten Things I Know About Men, when I stated that men are obtuse. 

Obtuse........ I apparently vastly understated, so please pardon me while I friggin' clarify. I would not want anyone to go to sleep tonight unenlightened! 

Men are not obtuse, they are damn near deaf, dumb and blind when it comes to women. They must think that we talk in riddles, and therefore we can't be understood. As if. 

*swearing and kicking a box of something* 

So, you might well ask, what set me off? 

I can't really say. I prefer to speak in riddles. After all, that is how some guys seem to like it. That way they have the perfect bloody excuse to say that they don't get what we are talking about. 

Just tell me this. Why do men need almost everything totally freakin' spelled out for them? 

Comments

[Carl]

In my experience with women, communication is usually done using a lot more innuendo and body language, a lot of which is very subtle. Now this is no excuse for men, but we are often off in dreamland thinking about other things, like business, sport, manly chores, that sort of thing, and when we're doing this we only hear the words a woman speaks. If most of your communication is non-verbal, it's very likely we'll miss it.

[ken armstrong]

What do you mean?

:)

[Patricia]

Being a nonverbal communication researcher, I can affirm that women are generally more effective senders and readers of nonverbal cues. From an evolutionary and developmental standpoint, women have had to be able to read nonverbal cues of babies as they (the babies) could not speak. Unfortunately, most women tend to assume that everyone can read the nonverbal cues they are sending not realizing that most men are simply not equiped to translate these rather subtle bodily, facial, and vocal messages.

[David]

Because they do. Men are logical creatures. Deal with it.

[Grandy]

If you spell it out on your boobies, they'll take notice quicker. ;)

Bad day hun??

[inspire]

Good points, Carl, but in my case, I used words. Granted, somewhat subtle, but not that subtle. men..... ;)

[inspire]

Ken......LOL! :)

[washwords]

but how do you really feel? ;)

and carl, no excuse indeed!

[inspire]

LOL, Grandy! You make a good point. Yeah, bad day yesterday,:(

[inspire]

Washwords......I could go in to more detail about my feelings.....lol :)

[Beamer]

After 32 years of marriage, I discovered from my wife that its not what she says sometimes, it's how she says it.

So, what I am supposed to do is listen intently on how she says some things and also be watching her facial gestures and hope and pray that 1.) I am reading the "how" correctly and that 2.) Reading the "How" applies to this particular sentence.

After she pointed this out to me, I just sat there and stared at her.

Me - "Your serious, aren't you?"
Her - "Yep."

Go figure, guys.

Beamer

[book_it]

Huh? *snickers*

[AvidReader]

It's all crystal clear to me... must be estrogen related. Or Venutian...?

[Sharon]

In addition to being endowed with the gift of logic, women are also able to use their emotions effectively in thinking. Men lack this. That's why 90% of the time they fail to see when they are being big jerks. Granted, at certain times we women can go a little overboard, but the "gift" of loads of estrogen that give us the wonderful boobies and horrid menses skews our views at times. This does not mean that men have the right to blame every moment that their mother, sister, or significant other gets upset on raging hormones. Sometimes you guys are just OBTUSE. As brought out by our friend Beamer, yes, you men need to be observant. If we wanted to we could just drill you into the ground with a plethora of hurtful words, but in giving you the option of deciphering our meaning by how we say things we are trying to give you a little more credit.

[Rachel]

Again this is why I just tell a guy when I like him. Then he can say he likes me back or not. If so great and if not we just move on and be friends. A lot of men just don't get when they are being flirted with.

[Anna]

Obtuse is right! I have the opposite issue than Rachel. I work in a donut shop and a lot of men think I must be flirting with them when, in fact, I'm just being nice! (it's part of the job description!)

[Ken Armstrong]

I don't get when I'm being flirted with...

... although it's entirely possible that I'm simply *never* being flirted with.

[inspire]

@ Beamer.....well, at least she took the time to try to communicate the problem, Beamer. :)

[inspire]

@ book_it.......see what I mean? ;)

[Eric "Speedcat Hollydale"]

Who's Hungry ?!?!

[inspire]

@ Avid.......probably the Venus thing. :)

@ Sharon......very well put, and I agree 100%.

@ Rachel......I think they do get it much of the time. But hey, I don't seem to know much about them, lol.

@ Anna......yeah, I've had that experience many times.

@ Ken......oh come on. You know that women are bound to flirt with you. You seriously can't tell the difference?

@ Eric.....um, what? lol.

[Debbie Lane]

Why are men obtuse?

Women have approximately 24,000 words per day.

Men have 8000.

Seeing that disparity a women wonders why a man doesn't then look at cues and nuances. Men, on the other hand go immediately into action or else retreat into the cave. Both responding to their brains hardwiring.

Today, in my office I had a man who wanted to increase his ability to understand his wife, so we created a nuance meter.

However, for the important stuff at my house, I use maximum exposure with my hubby!

[Debbie Lane]

as for Ken, I believe he doesn't know. I jest with him and he immediately blushes and explains himself. We are in different countries for pity sake. I promise not to ravage him without consent and proximity!

[inspire]

Debbie said: "However, for the important stuff at my house, I use maximum exposure with my hubby!

Um, what do you mean, "maximum exposure", Deb?

Debbie said:"We are in different countries for pity sake. I promise not to ravage him without consent and proximity!

LMAO!! :)

[Debbie Lane]

maximum exposure= golden winnegabos in husband speak

you interpret however you wish! ;)

[Rachel]

I think Ken is very good looking. I would flirt with him.

[ken armstrong]

Are you flirting with me Rachel?? :)

Ah no, on second thoughts Nicole, I *do* know when I'm being flirted with.

(Ken, not wanting to look stupid)

[Carl]

Ah, the penny drops, so this whole post was about you flirting with some guy who didn't pick up on it?

The easy solution, say something like "Hey big boy, come on over here and ---- me stoopid then do it again". I doubt many guys would be confused by that...

[inspire]

@ Debbie......I get it. lol. ;)

@ Rachel......you flirt? hee hee :)

@ Ken.......you could never appear stupid. And, I will admit that sometimes flirting is subtle. :)

@ Carl.....you are usually so astute. I think a couple of others took it the same way you did. Alas, not the case. :)

[Rachel]

Do you want me to flirt with you Ken? ;)

[ken armstrong]

Ohm you *so* are! :)

Actually that picture is not a fair representation. So much so that I feel like one of those 'Lonely Heart' types who puts ads in the paper saying how great they look and then when you meet them they're... well... shall we say, 'less than promised'.

That piccie is over ten years old now and the lighting conditions must have been extraordinary... or something. I use it mostly 'cos it seems to me to be friendly and accessible - and that's me all over :)

[Heather]

Great conversation...:0) both the post and the replies...

Women often think emotionally and men think literally...doesn't mix well!!! :0)
Men can be obtuse but often a woman needs to say exactly what she means/wants and then man will understand...
A complex but at times funny subject!!!

Cheers

[Rachel]

Oh stop being down on yourself Ken. A witty man is worth 100 good looking ones and even if that was 10 years ago I can't imagine that you look like a troll now.

Besides you probably don't even know what I look like either. Regardless a little flirting doesn't hurt.

[Ken Armstrong]

Good advise Rachel!!

Come on babe, flirt alert!!!

:)

[Rachel]

Ha! Now I don't know what to say.