He Said, She Said

Earlier this month, I posted a quote attributed to Katherine Hepburn:

“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”

The responses which I received, as well as my own reaction to both the remark, and the response, just strengthened my belief that men really are from Mars, while women are from Venus. Having  gotten permission from the commentators, I am posting their comments here, as well as my responses. Would love to have you contribute to the conversation via comments. Tell me how you see it. Let's work on the chasm between the sexes in our own small part of the world. Uh huh.

Matt: Things seem to work just fine when one of the two is quite clearly the boss and the other is happy to be told what to do and how to do it.

I don't really think it matters much which partner is the boss just so long as the other is happy for them to be the boss. But when this doesn't happen, a war between nations is as nothing compared to the domestic nastiness that happens.

Me:  Yeah, I mostly agree with you Matt!

My problem is that I am too strong-willed not to be the boss, but I can't stand a man who lets me be the boss. Erm......huge conundrum, lol. :)

Rachel: Ha! You took the words right out of my mouth. I am a bossy little bitch sometimes but my ex would never decide anything. Drove me nuts. At the same time he didn't want me telling him what to do but wanted me to make his decisions for him. I wanted to be a wife not a mother. :-/

Matt: Why do women do that, you want to be in charge, fine, some men will let you, but then you complain they're not strong enough for you. Is it really a remotely controlled man you're looking for, press a button and he's completely agreeable to your whims, press another and he argues with you. Sometime I think women actually want two men, perhaps one they can boss around and call slave, and another who is strong willed and stands up to them. I'm really sorry ladies but I don't think you're to have much luck finding a man who is both.

Me: @ Rachel........LOL, me too! Ditto on the wife/mother thing. I prefer my children to be children, and my man to be a MAN.
@ Matt.........Yeah, I know. *sigh* I guess if I had to choose, I'd go for the guy who is a cross between the two.....someone who is secure enough to deal with me, and also stands up for himself and his own stuff. :)

Rachel's blog, Odd Vantage
Matt's blog, Metro Dude

Copyright © by Inspire Emotion 2008. All rights are reserved. No re-posting of articles without prior written permission is allowed.

Technorati Tags: relationships, marraige, yin yang, yin and yang, men and women, men are from mars, women are from venus, inspire emotion.

Comments

[Matt]

I wrote a post about this. Not sure if you'll like it but seriously, when is a man a man these days?

[Matt]

Where to begin?

The problem I have with that mars and venus stuff is that it puts men in a cave and makes women feel OK about wringing their hands and asking why they can't find a man who doesn't have a cave.

What women should really be asking themselves is why they can't understand that a man's brain and a woman's brain are just not the same. We have different things we think about, different goals in life, and different things we enjoy doing. Now I know there is a lot of crossover, some men are more female, and some women are more male but maybe what women need to do is have some kind of psych profile done on them to see what kind of partner is best suited to their personality

[Jules]

Matt~ You're cruisin for a bruisin!
Why is it what " women need to do "?

If you said what people need to do then I wouldn't disagree. Hell, these days you should do a credit check, criminal check, psych evaluation and a full health scan.
Glad I'm not single.

If you really think all women are that jacked up then you are picking the wrong women. There are as many (probably more) level headed women out there as there are men. (wink)

As far as a relationship having a boss...
Inspire Emotion is right...won't work.
You guys are the ones who want a
"Lady in the boardroom and a whore in the bedroom".. (both cases she is the boss)

[inspire]

Where to begin........

Why is it that men think that women don't know what we want? I have to say that is more often the case with men, at least in my experience.

As Jules pointed out, men seem to want polar opposites at different times. You know, as in that old commercial = = =
"I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never let you forget you're a man..."

I used to do that. Then, I learned that men who require all that are not worth the effort, so now I look at what I want.

>a man who is secure and doesn't try to clip my wings
>a man who can make his own decisions, but asks for and respects my opinion
>a man who doesn't cheat because he is way too bloody in love with ME
>a man who won't make a sarcastic remark because I don't wish to put on full makeup and freakin' heels to go out to freakin' breakfast on the weekend
>a man who is kind, funny, intelligent, secure and loves children and cats.

Is that really that much to ask for??

[Matt]

Oops, I'm getting flamed aren't I?

Ladies I'm not saying you're not entitled to have a man who is going to love you but you know what this sounds like, we're arguing about us instead of arguing about the quote from Katherine Hepburn.

As a guy, I get tired of being told I need to be strong and stand up to a woman, but when I do I get accused of being insensitive and not understanding her needs. I'm not saying all women are like this, just all the women I know and all the women my friends have dated or maried

[inspire]

Lol, Matt. I'm not flaming you. I think you are probably a really great guy.
I think it's just a matter of how differently men and women view relationships and expectations. :)

[speakindoodles]

This is certainly interesting. Seems like the problem lies in the females with their indecisiveness. Audrey Hephurn was a superb women. I created something in honor of her at my blog. Check it out!

[The Wealthy Blogger]

I came across a quote I thought was great:

"Men are from earth, women are from earth.
Deal with it."

:)

[inspire]

@ speakindoodles.....left you a comment on your blog.:)

@ Wealthy Blogger.....love that quote.thanks for posting it! :)

[Justin]

It all boils down to communication. People come from different backgrounds and see the world differently. When a man and a woman come together you often have a clash of cultures and styles. Throw into the pot that men and women communicate and receive information differently, and you have a deadly mix.

My wife is quite bossy (she knows what she wants), and I tend to be laid back. I don't like to be, nor need to be bossed around. However, if she asks me where I want to go for dinner, I could care less. This doesn't mean I am a push over, it just means that on that particular topic, I am happy to let her choose and for her to be happy. If she wants to talk about something regarding how we raise our children, I will have an opinion.

Good luck!
Justin

[inspire]

Justin, really excellent post! Thanks for taking th time. I think it is always good to hear from "the other side", cause none of us is a mind reader. :)